So. Over the past few days I've come across a few articles that made me stop and have a conversation about the obstacles and struggles black mothers face. Not just struggles financially or out in the world but the internal and emotional struggles we go through and deal with that all too often get set out on the back burner.
When self care isnt enough... as one article read, taking note that a short relaxing bath, a quick moment alone, a trip to the nail salon is just not enough for the emotional stress and exhaustion females in parenthood go through. Coming from a mother of 3 it is and can be overwhelming to never have a moment alone, to feel lost in your roles that you take on daily and to feel as if you have lost a hold of who your true self is.
Not only can we loose ourselves and be in deep need of escape but we also face the backlash and shame for even having these feelings of distress, depression, exhaustion, and any other emotion that falls under that spectrum. It's so easy to hide away what bothers us and just keep pushing along, burying our woes deep inside because that is what we are taught and told to do. Grasping on to strings and holding onto the last nerve that we all seem to have.
I was reminded this past week that unlike alot of black mothers I have somewhat of a support system. One that allows me free time and moments of peace to myself when needed. I can drop my children off to grandma's and she willingly wanting them to come over, pick ups by dad or nights spent at their other siblings homes. And even still at times I too feel that black mommy blues and get overwhelmed and exhausted .
There is no shame in saying hey I need a break even if we are taught that needing a break somehow shows weakness as a mother. There is no shame in asking for help, no shame in expressing how you feel, and certainly no shame and wanting to be selfish and be totally yourself even if just for a moment.
Does self care just stop because as that article said those moments aren't enough? It doesn't! Taking care of yourself and not forgetting that you need these short moments in between life is detrimental to the health and well being of our souls, our emotional well being and our overall health. Taking time to reset and to unwind will always be important. Just realizing that you even need the moment is self healing, then taking those moments create self care!
Drop those kids off and enjoy your freedom as if you were YOU all along.
Be kind to yourself,
Well stated, and describes exactly what most may feel! Nice read.
Nice post! So true I felt this.